2008 Fashion Prediction: Fat is the New Black

By: MONKEYCLOWN

The celebrity fashion for 2007 turned out to be the panty-less look. The celebri-gina was prominent throughout the entire year.  Lindsey, Britney, Paris, and Christina, all of them took turns conveniently forgetting their underpants before a night of heavy partying.

What can these drunken sluts possibly do to get the paparazzo’s attention in 2008? After all…slut slits are starting to get old. (well….)

I figured it out…GET FAT!

Piggin’ Out
Britney is still more of a trendsetter than we think. For the past couple of years, she has been quite the little porker (despite her recent efforts to drop some poundage) and she got a TON of media attention for it.

By Mid-February you’ll start seeing the skanks I mentioned above—Lindsey and Paris—starting to chub up. You’ll also start seeing more “B” and “C” list celebs, coming out of the wood-works, riding around in Rascals and being pushed by their Personal Midget Assistants while showing off their new muffin tops and fat asses.

This will be a tremendous blow to the resurgence of Kirsti Alley and Valerie Bertinelli. They will wish they’ve never heard of Jenny Craig. Start shoving those chicken wings back in your mouths girls! Skinny is out…the Michelin Man look is in!
 

It seems as if Britney and I aren’t the first to think of this. Looks as if Jennifer Love Hewitt has a head start on everybody as reported by What Would Tyler Durden Do?.com (http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3193).
 

Nice Job J. Luv.
 

The only bad part is that now--all these mothers who have been complaining that their daughters have been trying to look like these skinny celebs, will start to complain that their girls are unhealthy and fat because they are 200 lbs.—just like Kate Moss.
 

Hollywood just can’t win.
 

PS. Hopefully this will apply to the male celebs as well…cuz this writer (and I am sure the majority of my readers) is ahead of the game!
 

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